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Acid Drinkers: Fishdick zwei - The dick is rising again
24/01/11 || cadenz
Why anybody would ever want to make a record like this for any other reason than for the band’s own amusement is beyond me. Why this, er, fabulous 16-track album filled with covers of overplayed classics from the last century is now gracing my sensitive nekro ears is beyond me, as it must mean that this album was actually officially released. For people outside the band to hear. Astonishing. Mystic Productions, indeed. You’ve earned your moniker.
Acid Drinkers is a Polish thrash metal outfit with tendencies to the crossover genre, formed in 1986. I thought only Germans had this bad a taste, but apparently (and sadly) they have managed to influence their easterly neighbors. Acid Semen Drinkers have released thirteen (13) full-length albums before “Fishdick Zwei”, including prequel “Fishdick” (1994) which also consists of cover material, so one could expect at least some sort of quality from such seasoned metallers. Sadly, I am mistaken.
We get to hear completely atrocious and idiotic let’s-drink-and-have-fun-with-songs-that-are-way-way-way-way-way-out-of-our-league versions of “Ring of Fire”, “New York, New York”, “Nothing Else Matters”, “Detroit Rock City” etc etc. This is a record that is (hopefully) meant to be played as background entertainment on parties, when everyone’s got at least eighty-three beers under their belts and have reached Nirvana (aka the Point of No Return, the State of Total Lack of Judgment, or, simply – Death). Drunken macho bellowing on top of a Teutonic metal foundation has seldom sounded this bad.
The Acid Cum Garglers’ instrument skills are good, they clearly have evolved some skills at least during their decades in the business, and the production is clear though nothing special per se. Some songs work better than the others, like the Donna Summer groove metal assrape “Hot Stuff”. The lovingly inserted extra Metallica and Pantera riffs into Johnny Cash and The B52’s songs get a disturbed yet approving small nod as well. Plus points for doing your own versions – I hate it when bands record covers that are carbon copies of the originals. For live situations that’s perfectly OK, but on record – what’s the point?
Humor clearly plays a big role in the Acid Drinker world, and that’s perfectly alright. I love a good laugh, and music doesn’t have to be taken seriously all the time. I just think AD’s imbecile versions blow. Richard Cheese, for example, is a master of humorous covers. What sets him apart from Acid Drinkers is that Cheezy boy & co actually sound good, not just fun. Acid Drinkers don’t sound good, and are fun only for very short periods. Like Rossini said of Richard Wagner: “He has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.”
One of the most annoying things about “Fishstick Schwein” is that many of these covers assfuck the originals in a bad, bad way. Slayer was never meant to go country. Metallica goes klezmer? I don’t think so. Those versions could have been pulled off, had they sounded good, but now it just sounds like you took a song and skullfucked it beyond recognition. If the intention is to make a classic sound horrendously bad, you’re not paying respect to the original, and that fucken blows giant whale dick.
So the verdict is, and listen carefully, fish stick dicks – if you’re going to do more albums, write your own songs, please. Anything else will be welcomed with a vast downpour of napalm in your general direction. Sheesh. Some people.
- Information
- Released: 2010
- Label: Mystic Production
- Website: www.acid-drinkers.com
- Band
- Tomasz “Titus” Pukacki: vocals, bass
- Wojciech “Jankie” Moryto: guitars, vocals
- Dariusz “Popcorn” Popowicz: guitars
- Maciej “Slimak” Starosta: drums
- Tracklist
- 01. Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash cover)
- 02. Hit the Road Jack (Ray Charles cover)
- 03. Losfer Words [Big ‘Orra] (Iron Maiden cover)
- 04. Love Shack (The B52’s cover)
- 05. New York, New York (Frank Sinatra cover)
- 06. Bring It on Home (Led Zeppelin cover)
- 07. Hot Stuff (Donna Summer cover)
- 08. Et si tu n’existais pas (Joe Dassin cover)
- 09. 2000 Man (The Rolling Stones cover)
- 10. Bad Reputation (Thin Lizzy cover)
- 11. Seasons in the Abyss (Slayer cover)
- 12. Blood Sugar Sex Magic (RHCP cover)
- 13. Nothing Else Matters (Metallica cover)
- 14. Detroit Rock City (Kiss cover)
- 15. Make No Mistake (Keith Richards cover)
- 16. Fluff (Black Sabbath cover)
